Is the Coldplay Couple still holding sway over the internet? It’s been almost a week since a kiss cam at a Coldplay concert in Boston caught the canoodling couple red-handed and red-faced, as it turns out they are married, but not to each other. It’s a tale as old as time, or at least as old as the invention of the Jumbotron.
He is Andy Byron, the CEO of a big data AI company called Astronomer, and she is Kristen Cabot, head of HR, or, as she is cloyingly titled, Chief People Officer. He has since resigned, and she has been put on leave, and the world can’t stop laughing.
Oh, wait. You’re sick of the coverage, or you don’t care about these people, or both. That’s fine. None of us really care about them personally, but we’ve been provided with a shared spectacle, courtesy of Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin, who called out the illicit lovebirds by saying “either they’re having an affair or they’re really shy”. It would appear to be the former. I’m curious as to why we are all so gleeful about it.
There’s nothing particularly funny about adultery, but there is humour in getting caught. Andy and Kristen could not have looked more guilty, from the alarm on their faces seeing themselves on the giant screen, to Kristen turning away and Andy dropping to the ground like he’d been shot with a blow dart. GOTCHA, you two timing scoundrels! And then came the jokes and memes, the catchphrases, the reenactments, a video game, and yes, even the merchandise. If you don’t have a “Make Affairs Private Again” hat, what are you even doing?
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